Thursday, June 22, 2017

Dear Junior Year

My junior year of college has come to a close, and it's been a crazy year. This was definitely the most difficult year so far - my classes were tough, my schedule was busy, and trying to stay afloat was a struggle. I made it out, though, and I've learned a lot. Since it's over, I wanted to do another "Dear __________ year" because I did that for freshman year and sophomore year.

Dear Junior Year,

I was almost crushed by you. Not only was the academic side of you hard, but all of the real-life things were rough, too. My classes had a workload unlike any other year, and I had to start answering some questions about my future, and think seriously about what I want for my life. That's not an easy thing to do as a 21 year old. Who knows where I'll end up in life? Have a plan, you told me, and for most of the year I tried to come up with one.

Well, I did and didn't succeed, but some things I do have now are options and ideas. I have a couple of thoughts about what I want to do after college, and I don't know which one I'll end up following, but you taught me that's okay. See, you pushed me to think about these things so I'd be comforted in the fact that I'll be able to figure it out, and I understand that now. After many breakdowns and panic attacks, I've found (some) comfort in the unknown, and it's a little bit exciting. Instead of being stressed about the future, you taught me to be excited about it.

While you were stressful, long, hard, and gruesome, Junior Year, you also gave me so much happiness. You brought people - especially one in particular - into my life that have changed it for the better. I made so many memories with new and old friends that I'll truly cherish forever. I can't think of better people to have spent the year with, honestly, and you were there to put them in my life. Everyday I'm reminded by how lucky I am to have people in my life whom I love so much, and give my life so much more meaning.

You have made me stronger, and though I doubted myself - a lot - you also taught me that it's okay to have off days, sometimes off weeks, and that the sunlight always finds its way back in through the cracks. I made it through the challenges you gave me, and I wouldn't have it any other way. The outcomes from all of these trials are worth way more than the stress they caused, and I'm thankful for all of the mistakes and hardships I went through. My life is better now, because of you, and I have a better idea of who I want to be. I learned that it will most certainly take even more time and even more hard work to get to where I want to be one day, but you taught me that it'll be worth it, in the end.


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