Sunday, May 3, 2015

How to Deal With Rejection

One of the things that undeniably, and to put quite simply, sucks about the human experience is rejection. Everyone can relate to it and has been through it; be it through a job you didn't get, a dream role given to someone else, or in your love life. Rejection cuts right to the core and makes you question exactly who you are, and more often than not your self-esteem takes a huge blow. While it does indeed suck, what sucks even more is letting it keep you down and doubt what kind of a person you are. I'm someone who has always struggled with rejection - my self-esteem has never been the greatest, and I often let other's opinions of myself bother me way more than they should. It has taken me a long time to realize that the only opinion about me that matters is my own. It really doesn't matter how others see you - it matters how you see you.
Since I've faced a lot of rejection in my life (who hasn't?) I thought I would share with you guys some tips on how I get over rejection.

1. Give yourself time to simply cry it out.
Crying is such a great therapy sometimes. I actually hate crying in front of others (I was a huge crybaby when I was younger), but it can actually be very therapeutic. I think it's important to accept your hurt feelings after rejection, and simply give yourself time to say "You know what, this isn't what I was hoping for, and I'm really sad about it." The important thing, however, is to not get stuck in this stage. Just give yourself a couple of hours to do this, a day if you need it, and move on.

2. Do not let the rejection define you - it does not have anything to do with who you are.
It took me a long time to realize this. My first instinct after rejection is to start questioning and blaming myself. I was rejected because I'm not pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough. Those thoughts pass through my mind over and over and I have to literally tell myself that it has nothing to do with the person I am. The way you deal with rejection defines who you are. If you let it knock you down and stay there, you are only doing more harm to yourself.

3. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends.
If you're having a hard time with the rejection, don't hesitate to reach out to friends for advice, or simply just a shoulder to cry on. There is no shame in asking for help, and your friends will be more than happy to do so. Talking and having someone listen can be really helpful and make you feel less alone. You'll probably be feeling really insecure after rejection, so having someone there for you can help you feel a lot more secure about yourself.

4. Get your mind off of it.
Go out and take a walk, read a good book, or watch a movie. There are literally hundreds of things you could be doing instead of dwelling on the rejection. It's not at all healthy to sit at home and think about the hurt all day because you'll never get over it. Getting your mind off of it helps you realize there are other important things in your life, and that you eventually will get over it.

5. Don't let it make you afraid.
Sometimes when we face rejection, it's easy to say "Well I'm never trying that again!" It's important, though, to get right back on the horse. Don't let one rejection - or twenty - make you afraid to try your hardest at something, or be too afraid to try it again. So what you didn't get that one job? You'll find another one! That guy doesn't like you back? You will find someone even better. Rejection isn't the end of the world, but something to learn from and apply the lesson next time. 

It's so important to learn how to deal with rejection, because you'll probably face it a lot in your life. A bleak point, I know, but if you realize it doesn't make you a bad person, you'll be able to handle it a lot better. It's a part of life, and something that everyone has to go through before they get a simple "yes." You will hear "no" more, but once you get that "yes," it'll all be worth it.

How do you deal with rejection?

Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful day :)


  1. Rejection is not who you are, it certainly doesn't define you either. Yea, after facing rejection you might need time to heal, take your time but after that getting back up and trying again is what's really important. If you didn't get what you wanted then at least it taught you something which you could probably work on.
    Great advice!

    -Kathie K
    A Sea Change

    1. I totally agree! It's so important to realize rejection has nothing to do with who you are!

  2. Thoroughly enjoyed this post! So true and you gave great tips :)